396. Spiritual Work to Awaken Oneself is for the Brave, and You Can Do It

Spiritual Work to Awaken Oneself is for the Brave, and You Can Do It

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Hello, welcome to the soul elevation podcast where you can guide your ascension to new heights. I'm your host, Kara Goodwin. And in this live, I want to talk about the, what I think are kind of the scarier aspects of spiritual development. So when I say the scary aspects of, you know, spirituality, it makes me think of like ghosts and things like that.

I know that those that in like demons and you know, that's a different kind of scary than what I'm talking about here. But really the spiritual work that you do in the beginning, it may feel like it's super uplifting and you're going to be in all these positive thoughts surrounded by positive people.

And ultimately that's the trajectory that you're going on. But, [00:01:00] There is a lot of clearing out and, um, reconciliation that needs to happen for true spiritual development. Pure, um, true integration of the wholeness of who you are really requires facing things that we may find really scary. And I want to give And a personal example of how this has shown up for me.

So as I've gone through my spiritual journey, um, the more my consciousness expands, I find that I will have memories that just pop in that I haven't thought about in decades. And I'll go, I'll be back in, you know, my childhood, my babysitter's room, trying to fall asleep to take a nap. You know, that kind of a thing where I'm like a toddler.

And I remember, You know, the, the blanket on the bed and, and take it taking [00:02:00] forever for me to fall asleep or waking up and feeling groggy and, um, and trying to figure out where I am, that kind of thing. So these memories, these memories come back as part of this expansion of consciousness. And a lot of times there are memories that, that aren't very meaningful, but sometimes memories will come up that are really hurtful.

And I realized that I just have like, not faced. And this happened recently. So I just, just out of nowhere, I remembered being a teenager and being excluded from a surprise party. So there was a very dear friend of mine who, um, was having a birthday and two people were planning her surprise party and we were all friends and I didn't get invited to this surprise party.

I, [00:03:00] what was really fascinating about this. So not only did I not get invited, but as the fates would have it, I, my mom and I went to the mall to specifically to get this person a birthday present because we were still friends and it wasn't her fault that I wasn't invited to this party, so I still wanted to get her present.

Um, and while we were there, her mom was taking her to the mall as the like distraction. So they would go to the mall and they, they, when they would come back, they, she would be surprised because everybody would be there. And her mom just assumed that I was invited. So her mom's talking to my mom while I'm talking to my friend and I'm saying like, Oh, I came here funnily enough.

I came here to get you a present. And when we leave. My mom's going, well, why, why aren't you going, why didn't you mention party? And I said, uh, because I wasn't invited and I burst into tears and that was kind of the last that we talked about it. Cause I, I know that, you know, my mom didn't know what to [00:04:00] say and, but that was kind of the only, I mean, I at least got to, to, um, express some, or at least, you know, feel some of those emotions through that with my mom.

But I, I don't think there was ever any sort of like reconciliation. Like this is such a foggy memory that I can't believe, I can't believe that I couldn't remember it or that I just forgotten about it completely had forgotten about it. And when it came up, my instinct, like when recently, when this came up.

I, my, my immediate response was like, don't look at that. Yeah. Don't. Oh yeah. Don't think about that. Just leave that in the past. And, and that caught my attention because I realized that I was afraid. To look at that. I was afraid to feel that. And so I, and I didn't want to feel it. I didn't want to [00:05:00] go into that because I knew that, that, that was, there was a wound there.

That was, I, I was hurt from that. I w I felt lonely from that. I felt embarrassed. I felt, um, excluded and. Uh, rejected, you know, there were some things there that I didn't want to go into. And so our, our instinct, our protective instinct from the ego standpoint is to hold those uncomfortable and hurtful things that have happened in our past to hold them at bay and to protect ourselves.

And, and, but it doesn't mean that that's not a part of us. It becomes this fragment, it becomes a soul fragments. There are a lot of different ways that different lineages or different psychologies talk about that. There's a, you know, a soul fractal, like it's more of a shamanic way of looking at that would be.

Like a soul fragment, a soul fractal, um, psychology might talk [00:06:00] about it in terms of like, um, internal family systems is, is an example where it's like, we have these different parts of ourselves that become, um, hidden away because they're too much for us. They make us feel overwhelmed. And so we just deny them, but then they're, they're running the show in the background.

And when we don't face them, then we, we, they're like, they're like the puppeteer and they can create these protective mechanisms where that can be unhealthy. So for instance, um, with not, with just completely dismissing what I, what I understood as I kind of. Felt into this is that I have this 14 year old version of me that is You know just kind of frozen in time that that I wouldn't let her [00:07:00] feel that hurt and really feel that loneliness and feel that rejection because It scared me and I didn't want to feel that way.

So I told myself That I, I just denied it. I denied. I just, you know, it's fine. Who cares? And, um, and I just kept moving forward. And, but that part of me, I mean, the reality was that I was hurt. I was, I did feel lonely. I did feel rejected, but I wouldn't admit it to myself. I wouldn't really let myself feel it.

So those feelings froze. and got locked away. And so there's this 16 year, or sorry, 14 year old version of me. That is still frozen with that that is not being seen not being integrated It's kind of like kept off in a crate, you know Protected off walled off because I don't want [00:08:00] to I don't want to experience that So the invitation that I had through this memory and recognizing.

Oh, that's not a very pleasant memory Oh, what is it that I don't like about that memory was to Feel really feel. And it was like I was, um, pulling this part of myself from exile and I was integrating. I was seeing it. I was letting myself feel it. I was being honest with myself about, you know, oh, that felt lonely and also having it from the perspective of.

You know, decades later, me, who's like, you know, this isn't who you are, you, you, you know, you do have friends and this is a temporary thing that you're going through. And ultimately this can serve my path in terms of, you know, having the feeling of rejection, the feeling of exclusion and how that then informs your compassion.

You know, seeing [00:09:00] somebody else who is probably feeling excluded and bringing them into the fold, going through that experience of being on the outside and feeling that you're rejected can give you that compassion to say, Oh, I recognize that that's part of me too. I recognize what they're feeling and I can do something about that for them.

So it can really be like an, we can alchemize it when we're not, when we decide to be brave and we decide. I'm not going to be afraid of this. This can serve me. This is a part of who I am. It's part of my journey. And I, I love and accept and, and I allow this to be a part of me. And that helps to unfreeze.

Hi, Elizabeth. Thank you for being here. I see your message. That allows it to To kind of unfreeze and to integrate. And my friend Teresa Kaplan, who I really want to have back on the podcast, she was on the podcast ages ago. [00:10:00] She's so talented. She does this method called the energy editing, but she, um, talks about tears and how tears melt.

Frozen emotions. So we all have these hidden parts of ourselves that are kind of frozen in time that we didn't allow ourselves to process. And as we cry over them as an example of a release, it's like that. Unfreezing. I just love that. When I heard her say that, I was like, Oh my gosh, that's brilliant. Um, in more of a psychology term that there's, um, in what's called internal family systems.

And what's really funny about the timing of all of this, this memory that came up and my understanding of the integration, the role that I had, the invitation that I had to integrate this part of myself. Um, My friend Michael had gotten me for Christmas this book called internal [00:11:00] family systems and that's something that I'd heard about over time and But I didn't know a lot about it So I've had this book since before Christmas and I haven't had time to crack it open yet And as it happens two nights ago Um, I crack open this book for the first time, but there's so much going on in my house that I, I didn't actually get to read one word of it, but then I went to coffee yesterday with somebody and we were talking about this.

I was sharing with her what I just shared with you about this memory coming up and my. Um, you know, feeling that, that like recognizing that I had this part of myself that I, I had rejected and that I wanted, I was working on kind of bringing in and she was like, Oh, that's like internal family systems.

And I'm like, I just opened this book that I've had for weeks and I haven't even looked at it and I just opened it last night. And so I started reading it last night and I'm like. Oh my God, this is exactly [00:12:00] what I've been doing. What, but the fact that I have this resource, this book, and I'll put a link to the book.

I can't, I think it's just called internal family systems if you're interested, but I'll try to remember to put the link in the notes. Um, but I'm like, Oh my gosh, I have this resource. that can help me to, you know, further integrate this if there are any things to, to kind of with the process that I'm not thinking of.

Um, so I love the synchronicity of that as well. That feels like a bigger, like nurturing from the universe. And of course, you know, this type of trauma. That I'm talking about is nothing compared to what, what may surface for other people because our lives can be very, very complicated. And, um, and, and so it's, again, this is why I say this is, it's not work for people who really aren't serious about, about.

You know, their ascension, their spiritual development, because things can [00:13:00] come in that are not pleasant. And we want to be brave. We want to take those invitations when they come to say, okay, here's something I wasn't ready until now. To really look at and to really feel and know that I'm safe, that I can look at this from years and years distance and have like the maturity that I have now, the compassion that I have, the tools that I've gained along my spiritual path that I have to deal with this part of myself that was wounded.

Years ago. It's not easy, but it is really important. And as you move through it, you become more whole and you, there are gifts in, in all of this, as we integrate it, as we see it from a different angle, we, we experience more gifts and we experience the fullness of who we really are. So I will leave you with that.

Thank you so much [00:14:00] for joining and I wish you every blessing today and every step on your path. Many thanks.